Pregnancy is a unique phase of the shared life between a couple where the anticipation of expanding their family fuels the feelings of sheer joy. Inching towards the monumental transition of life, week by week, trimester by trimester – is bound to feel like a roller-coaster ride never taken before, where the peaks and troughs are yet to come. In today’s post, we want to highlight the importance of not letting go the bond between the couple – first and foremost.
The partnership has many ventures
Often expecting couples immerse themselves in the preparations and anticipation of the pending arrival of their new born that it becomes very easy to forget that the partnership between a couple – married or convivial – has got many ventures and having children is just one of them. The most important aspects of the partnership which include mutual respect, love, friendship, trust between two adults in love should not be overshadowed at the prospect of having children.
While it is true that having children may be a very important or even the most important venture for many couples, but children born to couples who did not previously share balanced equations of respect, love, friendship and trust between themselves in the first place may leave gaps in their nurturing of their offspring because they did not experience these between themselves strongly enough to be able to share with another person between them.
Children are not necessarily enablers or the end
Many couple prefer to have children thinking that it will enhance the love between them or because it is their biological requirement to expand their brood. Some even don’t get the time to even think of such philosophical excrement in the hurry to ejaculate and keep bearing the fruit of their flurry for the rest of their lives.
Some perceive having children as if it’s the end of their freedom and fun as they used to enjoy as a child-free couple. We believe putting unconscious labels on children even before they are born can be the silent nemesis of a healthy relationship between an expecting pair. In our experience, having more expectations from each other as partners is a pragmatic option than to expect the sun, moon and stars from the children yet to be born.
Two at best, two to rest, after the empty nest
Every phase of life takes its turns, ups and downs. Singles becoming a couple, a couple becoming a family, then time flies when children grow up and fly away from the nest, leaving the couple back to square one – or shall we say back to square two? Then the pages of time flip and a couple becomes single again.
Knowing that the two of us started a loving relationship and knowing that in the end, it will be left with us two only, it is best to consider everything in between as a very joyful phase, full of challenges and charms – but that is all. Valuing the partnership as a husband or wife more will pay off in the long run and children will grow up witnessing solid pairing between their parents to start with.
These and many more delightful thoughts came into our mind when we again became tourists in our home town for another day. This time it was a pleasant trip to the iconic British Library, the national library of the UK and the largest in the world by numbers of items catalogued. Surely we did not visit this vast ocean of knowledge to derive advice on pregnancy and parenting. It was simply fun to keep discovering ourselves in new locations, experiencing new moments together and having a meal together in another new restaurant. Atleast one piece of knowledge we could contribute to the British Library was perhaps the fact that having children is more like earning joyful interests but having a loving relationship with a partner is the principal amount you need in the first place before earning any interests whatsoever.
So don’t get swayed into the all-encompassing talks around the arrival of the baby. It is only natural to do so – what to shop for the baby, how it will look, what to call it, how to plan the finances and the life after the birth and all.
Consciously put some effort to arrange a day out or a date night with your partner and talk about you two first, as you used to do even until recently. Don’t let the pregnancy talk take over the fine ingredients to taste in the fine dining, nor there is any need to only spot other people’s babies when you’re out for a walk in the park.
Hope you’ve been enlightened with our pearls of wisdom in this post. Share this post now with your friends if you want them to have some food for thought and leave your comments below to tell us what you think.
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